Was searching for my umbrella, freaking out that I left it at the international center in this monsoon, when I realized the reason I was dry was because I was using my damn umbrella.
You win finals week. I have apparently lost my mind and it’s only the first day.
“What some of us want—those who aren’t blinded by a lot of bullshit persiflage thrown up to mask the idea that rich folks want to keep their damn money—is for you to acknowledge that you couldn’t have made it in America without America. That you were fortunate enough to be born in a country where upward mobility is possible (a subject upon which Barack Obama can speak with the authority of experience), but where the channels making such upward mobility possible are being increasingly clogged. That it’s not fair to ask the middle class to assume a disproportionate amount of the tax burden. Not fair? It’s un-f—king-American, is what it is. I don’t want you to apologize for being rich; I want you to acknowledge that in America, we all should have to pay our fair share. That our civics classes never taught us that being American means that—sorry, kiddies—you’re on your own. That those who have received much must be obligated to pay—not to give, not to “cut a check and shut up,” in Gov. Christie’s words, but to pay—in the same proportion.” —Stephen King scolds the superrich (including himself—and Mitt Romney) for not giving back, and warns of a Kingsian apocalyptic scenario if inequality is not addressed in America. Stephen King FTW! (via cheatsheet)
“Jimmy Kimmel got his start years ago on “The Man Show.” In Washington, that’s what we call a congressional hearing on contraception.” —Barack Obama aka Barackness Monster at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. *BAZINGA*
- friend: OMG I can't believe he rejected me! why am I such a hopeless romantic?!
- me: one time a snack machine rejected my dollar and I was really hungry